Introducing Jeannette ChessThe Life of a Missionary Print E-mail Image Jeanette Chesser preaching Six weeks of my three monther - Missionary

The following article was written by one of our guest lecturers in Moscow. You can read it also here.

Jeanette Chesser preaching

Six weeks of my three months in Moscow have now past at the Church of God Eurasian Seminary, living in a dorm room. There is plenty of noise; someone practicing the piano in the room below me every night, traffic all day and night on a major boulevard in front of the building, small children of some married students running down the hall with a toy, etc.

Ministry Trips

My teaching is scheduled during the middle of each week so that I have long weekends for ministry/teaching trips to cities where I have established relationships during the past 16 years.

The first one was in mid-February. I went to Izhevsk near Siberia, my adopted Russian town since 1995. Four days were filled with fellowship, church services, dinners in my honor and much tea drinking and food.

Church members wept on my shoulder, hovering around me with hugs and Russian kisses. These expressions of love come from the closeness developed during seven years there, living like they live, helping them be established in Christianity and teaching the Bible. I am now introduced as the spiritual mother of the people, a title I feel humbled to hear.

Story of Perseverance

Recently I was included with staff members as guests at the Seventh Day Adventist seminary compound, over an hour's drive from Moscow. Theirs is a beautiful story of perseverance. Twenty years ago when legislation for freedom of religion was passed in Russia, all denominations came to establish a Bible school and/or churches in Moscow. Property costs were very high. Seventh Day Adventist finally began to look in regions farther away.

In a small village (with the ever present Russia electric train running through the middle), development was concentrated on one side of the railroad tracks. The other side consisted of an old school built by the Germans many decades prior that had been gutted by fire. Village leaders gave it to Seventh Day Adventist for restoration, along with property surrounding it.

Using donated labor from around the world, over 1,600 Seventh Day Adventist members came during the first year alone. When villagers saw their standard of life and commitment, another 25 acres on the other side of the tracks was purchased for very little. Now, the compound has an administration building, school rooms, dorms, a publishing house, three-story library, gymnasium, cafeteria, other buildings and 90 staff with 300 enrolled in the Christian school and seminary.

Getting the Job Done

Without industry of any kind, the snow on the ground was pure and brilliantly white in that rare winter day of sunshine. I remembered the scripture in Isaiah, "Though your sins be as scarlet they shall be white as snow".

I sorely needed the use of a washer and dryer. I had washed small items in the sink from time to time but the bigger items could wait no longer. The old saying, “Necessity is the mother of invention" can be literally translated, “Pressing need is the mother of creativity.” I put the big items on the floor of the shower, soaked them with water, added soap, got on my hands and knees and started kneading them like dough. When my knees could no longer hold out, I took off my shoes, stood on the clothes and began a ritual than could only be described as stomping grapes. It got the job done!

St. Petersburg

There was flu or virus that some of the students had here at the seminary. Without much attention to spreading germs, I felt as if I was coming down with it too just as I was preparing to go to St. Petersburg the first week of March.

I traveled on the five-hour express train alone and a delegation met me at the station. St. Petersburg is 400 miles due north of Moscow, and there is a prevailing strong wet and cold wind blowing from off the Bay of Finland that hit me in the face as I disembarked.

The host pastor, Valery, was quite perturbed that the owner of the flat used as the office/guest quarters did not first check with him in advance and went forward with a project to paint the interior doors. To help eradicate the strong paint odor, Valery opened all windows. The outside temperature was below freezing, so you can imagine that inside was not much different with all windows open.

That night, after waking often, shivering, I finally put my fur coat on top of the two thin blankets, and repeated it all four nights.

I managed to get through the four teaching sessions of the seminar and Saturday went well during prayer ministry with members and pastors from five churches in the region. Sunday we had a regular church service.

Missionary Cravings

Russian food is nutritious here at the school but the budget does not allow for a lot of creativity and the menu is repetitious. It is normal for me to start thinking often of American food after I have been in another country over a month. Funny thing is that I crave things that I rarely order in the U.S. because of awareness of eating healthy. But at the moment a big fat hamburger with everything on it and a chocolate milkshake with real ice cream would taste mighty good.

The Need to “Own”

The current situation for all denominations in Russia has been hard on the growth of Christianity. The Russian Orthodox Church has much clout in the government and has always objected to evangelical growth. They pressured the government to issue an ordinance preventing any public building to be rented to a religious organization.

Of course this did not affect those with their own building, but those are few, and churches with sizable congregations that formerly rented a large cultural hall or theater were forced into small places rented by private individuals. Attendance has declined greatly everywhere.

The seminary building is presently being used by three different congregations.

Our Winter Newsletter Available

This past weekend we mailed out the electronic version of our quarterly newsletter to our friends and sponsors. Didn't you get one? Then you haven't signed up for the newsletter. (See box below to the right.)

In the meantime, one can download the newsletter at
http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs072/1101898662382/archive/1102413762277.html

New Family and Marriage Program in Moscow

The school in Moscow is beginning a new program under the leadership of our provost, Dr. Ilya Okhotnikov. This is his blog report.

January 21, 2009 ETSM starts a new Marriage and Family Ministry (MFM) Program for church leaders. Purpose of the MFM Program is to train ministers to help and serve families in the church (and society). Upon completion of the program the graduates will be able to

1. Formulate the Biblical foundations of marriage\family.
2. Know contemporary theoretical approaches to analysis of family issues.
3. To know and develop in self qualities of a counselor. 1Tim.4:16.
4. Receive skills for counseling families (to know how to begin, continue and end a counseling session)
5. Understand psychology of children and teen's behavior
   -- including aspects of human growth according to the age
   -- discipleship of teens for sexual integrity in a local church
6. Be able to conduct premarital, marital, second-marriage, post divorce, while in divorce counseling.
7. Organize Marriage and Family Ministry in a church (formulate goals and aims, direction and methods of reaching the goals)
8. Analyse marital dynamics skilfully using methods of research (PREPARE\ENRICH) and counseling techniques that are in line with the Bible
   

• January 21-24, 2009 Seminar on "Biblical foundations of mariage and family". Ilya Okhotnikov
• January 26-30, 2009 Seminar on "Basic Counseling Theories". Ruslan Naduyk, Pastor, Dean of Sociology Department, Russian-American Christian University, Moscow, Russia
• February 2-6, 2009 Seminar "Premarital Counseling". Rocky and Terri Morris, Clarion Call. Communicating the message of hope.
  http://clarioncall.createsend5.com/t/ViewEmail/r/58B91C3EC496C013/73C4C150156E84722540EF23F30FEDED

Following seminars will be held between June 8 and 26, 2009.

Thank you for your prayers for this event in January.
Ilya Okhotnikov

Sunday in Geislingen

Yesterday, Claudia, the kids and I spent the day in Geislingen (and nearby Süßen) with Pastors Stefan and Debby Oesterling. (I'm sorry for showing only his picture. I forgot the camera and only could find his picture on the web.) I was invited to speak at the church - and it went well except that my PowerPoint was in Russian (I put the wrong file on the stick). It got a little awkward when they wanted to read the Bible text along with me. Afterward we spent the afternoon at their home enjoying pizza and watching the kids (our three and their three) have fun in the sun.

The Church of God in Germany is about 60 years old (unless you count the "unofficial" work during the Nazi war era). Most of our younger pastors in German are bi-vocational. That is to say, they must work a full-time secular job and spend the evenings and weekends for a church that is not able to pay them a salary. Additionally, many of these smaller churches have been around for a while -- they are not new church plants, but churches in need of a turnaround.

This is also the case with Stefan who works as an insurance agent. While in his mid-twenties, he assumed the pastorate from a retiring minister. And although there were some young couples in the church, there was (and still is) a considerable percentage of seniors in the church.

It was refreshing for Claudia and me to see how the church has grown over the years. Stefan has brought in much change in the church over the years. But he'll be the first to tell you that it has been a slow process that has taken place with the help of the Holy Spirit. And they're facing transition since one of their leading young couples (Chris and Lambrini Lindeman) will move to the States in September.

Leadership - discipline with love

We just completed our last week of exams at ETSM and final exams will begin next week. In one week, we will have our graduation exercises with hopefully 15 people walking across the stage. This is our highest amount since the initial cohort that began in 1998 (and graduated in 2002). The faculty has already begun to read the "senior papers" written by interns who are about to graduate. Their defense will be next week.

However, the anticipation of next week's joy has been dampened by a couple of students who we had to discipline. Three third year students (who normally would begin their 1-year practicum after the exams next week) were caught in blatant plagiarism. It was more than quoting from a commentary and not giving credit. Instead they had actually taken old term papers from previous students and simply put their name at the top of the paper. And a couple students had done for three different term papers.

So we held an emergency faculty meeting. Actually, I was in Germany and we held a video conference concerning the matter. Of course, the normal discipline measure for this offense would be dismissal from the school - that's true in just about any college. Sadly, we have to discipline these three promising young men.

However, it was interesting how things went in the final chapel service. In a small school, the interpersonal dynamics are very much like that of a family. The students in question offered an apology (although one of them still smiled the whole time) to their classmates. This prompted a compassionate response among the students who in turn questioned our decision to dismiss two of the students. (There were special considerations in the case of the third student.) "Can't you change your mind? That is too strict!"

Actually, we were lenient. We are allowing the students to complete their final exams. They must "rewrite" their papers. They are "suspended" for one year after which they can re-apply and be admitted into their internship. If they are diligent, they could still graduate by 2010.

Of course, the faculty and administration were also aware that any decision we made is in itself an act of teaching. And the lesson is: leadership is doing the right things.

Improving Relationships - Gottman Continued

Given that having a strong marriage is such an important key to staying healthy and happy, it makes sense to direct energy into making your relationship the best that it can be. The investment will truly be worth it. Below are some tips for making your relationship a much healthier one. (These are Gottman's tips as summarized by Poonam Sharma, Ph.D

1. Nurture your friendship. Do you know your spouse’s likes and dislikes Poonam Sharma, Ph.D, dreams, worries, fears and hopes? Do you know in detail what your spouse did all day yesterday? Do you know what types of pressures he or she faces at work? The basis of a good marriage is a solid friendship. If a marriage is not built on a strong friendship, it may be difficult to stay connected over time. Make sure you take some time each day to confide in one another. During these times, make it a priority to listen and learn about your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
2. Actively take steps to foster your liking and admiration for your partner. Gottman says this is the antidote to contempt. Remember your partner's good qualities. Why were you attracted to your spouse in the first place? What did you originally love or admire about your partner? By nurturing your fondness for your spouse, you can foster a much more positive attitude toward him or her.
3. Always behave respectfully toward your spouse. In relationships that deteriorate over time, respect becomes increasingly absent. Sadly, sometimes people end up treating their spouses worse than they would ever treat a complete stranger. By tolerating or engaging in disrespectful behavior, you actively contribute to the demise of your relationship. Do you ever call your spouse names? Do you ever berate your partner in front of your friends or family? Do you consider how your spouse will be affected by your cruel comments or actions? Take stock of ways you or your spouse may cross the line of respect. Remember that without respect, love cannot survive.
4. Accept and validate your partner. Recognize how much power you have to build up your spouse up or tear him or her down. You can help make your relationship a safe haven or hell on earth. Remember, everyone needs to feel accepted for who they are as a human being. Instead of attacking your spouse, try to understand his or her point of view. Also, compliment your spouse for ways he or she supports you and your relationship. It’s easy to get so focused on what is wrong in a relationship that you miss what is actually working.
5. Forgive one another. When your partner genuinely reaches out to ask for forgiveness, do not turn away. Hurt feelings and conflict are inevitable at times. When attempts to repair this hurt are repeatedly rejected, the relationship takes a hit. You may need time to let go of a grudge, bitterness, or feelings of hurt, but don’t close the door completely on your partner’s attempts to make things better. Reach deep inside and work on healing together.
6. Calm down. When conflict escalates, people can become “flooded” by strong emotions, leading to physical distress, stonewalling and defensiveness. Take a few deep breaths or call a time out. Most people need about 20 minutes to actually calm their bodies down. Take the time and come back to the issues at hand when you can actually listen to what the other person is saying without being overwhelmed.
7. Let your partner influence you. In general, men are less likely to look for common ground with their wives. Gottman notes "When a man is not willing to share power with his partner, there is an 81% chance that his marriage will self-destruct.” Remember that good marriages involve give and take. You are on the same team and need to work together for the sake of your relationship.
8. Warm up your relationship. Keep your relationship healthy by ensuring that there are at least five positive interactions for every negative one. Gottman’s research has identified that a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative ones is linked to the stability of a marriage, no matter what your typical style of resolving conflict. If there is too much negativity, the relationship suffers.
9. Learn to let some things go. Although your spouse may do things that drive you crazy, remember you can cope. It is not worth it to struggle over every little thing. Solve the problems that are solvable and let the others go. You must learn to pick your battles carefully.
10. Don’t forget to work on yourself. A relationship is just like a dance. You move in unison to create something that is truly unique. What type of partner are you? Do you work with your partner or pull hard in another direction? Do you step on her toes? Do you gaze in his eyes or focus only on your next steps? Remember you control 50% of what happens in your relationship. Be sure you are a good partner.

Making Relationships Work

This week, I read an interview in Harvard Business Review with John Gottman, Professor Emeritus from the University of Washington. Although the aim of the article was to focus on interpersonal relationships at work, he drew greatly upon his area of specialty – marital relationship.

Gottman notes that it is not conflict itself that is the problem, but how we handle it. Venting anger constructively can actually help clear the air and get a relationship back in balance. However, conflict becomes a problem when it is characterized by the presence of what Gottman calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:” criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt – the most destructive of which is contempt.

1. Criticism. Criticism involves attacking your partner’s personality or character, rather than focusing on the specific behavior that bothers you. It is healthy to air disagreements, but not to attack your spouse’s personality or character in the process. This is the difference between saying, “I’m upset that you didn’t take out the trash” and saying, “I can’t believe you didn’t take out the trash. You’re just so irresponsible.” In general, women are more likely to pull this horseman into conflict.

2. Defensiveness. Adopting a defensive stance in the middle of conflict may be a natural response, but does not help the relationship. When a person is defensive, he or she often experiences a great deal of tension and has difficulty tuning into what is being said. Denying responsibility, making excuses, or meeting one complaint with another are all examples of defensiveness.

3. Stonewalling. People who stonewall simply refuse to respond. Occasional stonewalling can be healthy, but as a typical way of interacting, stonewalling during conflict can be destructive to the marriage. When you stonewall on a regular basis, you are pulling yourself out of the marriage, rather than working out your problems. Men tend to engage in stonewalling much more often than women do.

4. Contempt. Contempt is involves tearing down or being insulting toward your partner. Contempt is an open sign of disrespect and disgust. And it is very difficult to resolve a conflict with someone when you’re communicating the message that you’re disgusted with him/her. Examples of contempt include: putting down your spouse, rolling your eyes or sneering, or tearing down the other person with so-called “humor.”

Research shows that people in contemptuous relationships are more likely to suffer from infectious illnesses, flu, colds, and so on – than other people. Contempt attaches the immune system; fondness and admiration are the antidotes.

All couples will engage in these types of behaviors at some point in their marriage, but when the four horsemen take permanent residence, the relationship has a high likelihood of failing. In fact, Gottman’s research reveals that the chronic presence of these four factors in a relationship can be used to predict, with over 80% accuracy, which couples will eventually divorce. When attempts to repair the damage done by these horsemen are met with repeated rejection, Gottman says there is over a 90% chance the relationship will end in divorce.

Divorce: What Happens When a Third Party is Involved

Some more notes from Eva-Maria Zurhorst's book, Love Yourself, And It Doesn't Matter Who You Marry. For the sake of easy ready, I will translate into the masculine gender, but the principles apply to both sexes. And yes, sometimes German sentences are really that long.

The Victim (the one cheated on) had already left the relationship
When one partner leaves, usually the remaining partner had already long left the relationship. That is something that we don't like to admit. We prefer to have clear statements of guilt: The one who leaves is evil, the victim is good. But...it is the victim who often betrays himself (or herself). The victim is often someone who denies any responsibility for himself and convictions. He is often someone who persists in maintaining his high, theoretical demands in the relationship. Someone who doesn't really get involved in a deep, connected manner with a real, non-perfect and sometime unreachable partner. The victim usually feels involuntarily dependent on his partner is some fashion, but doesn't dare anything to counter this dependence, become vulnerable, be open to the truth, and trust their own strength.

And the cheater? Often they describe their unfaithfulness and their married situation, "Finally I feel affirmed! Finally i could drop all my defenses and let down my guard. I don't have to live up to any expectations."

Usually we land in someone else's bed only when our feelings toward our marriage have been accumulating too long and needed expression.

In a three-way relationship we give expression to our inner fears of genuine closeness. The third party never simply comes into one's life by coincidence, but rather when our marriages have become stuck in hard silence or entangled in continual power struggles.

When a third-party appears, it is high time to make a decision - not for a person, but for the truth.

In Triangular Relationships - Three People Are Afraid of Intimacy
The dilemma of a triangle is in reality a cry for a courageous and genuine revlation and coming together.

The third party embodies everything that the victim does not. ... Therefore I encourage the victim to have an honest and open encounter/confrontation with the third person. The purpose here is to examine one's own development and discover "the missing thing(s), that the third-party embodies.

The cheater - the one in the middle - it would have been his task to be on the cutting edge, to dare something new in his marital relationship, to give new direction, to throw out old and destructive patterns of behavior, and to lovingly and patiently inspire his partner and family by bringing them to the next level.

Most Divorces are Superfluous

A couple weeks ago I did a sermon on divorce. In a previous blog, I mentioned the excellent historical-exegetical work of David Instone-Brewer. But I didn't mention the work of a German, secular therapist Eva-Maria Zurhorst, Love Yourself, and It Doesn't Matter Who You Marry. Zurhorst is a former journalist and a word smith in the German language. So I'm not quite sure how the English translators mastered the task. Below are some of my notes - based on the German. From a secular perspective, it is one of the best books arguing for couples to resolve their differences.

Most divorces are superfluous
Marriage is not the gift wrapping for a romance. The true meaning of marriage is always to bring the inner conflicts of both partners into balance.

Your spouse is only playing one role in your play
The true meaning of relationships is always in found in bringing the inner conflicts of both partners into balance. Each relationship, exactly they way it is now, is the optimal place that each partner can find.

So be happy that your most intimate partner presses your buttons so precisely that it hurts. Be grateful he/she is the way they are. For they help bring to your attention those areas in your life that need healing.

Triangular relationships are marked by blurred boundaries

• The one in the middle is doing a balancing act. He/she is for the most part incapable of deciding because both partners appear to embody only half of what he/she is looking for in a spouse.
• The secret lover is longing for the sense of security that the cheated partner normally possesses. The secret lover battles with his/her mistrust. How can he/she really trust a person who is deceiving their spouse?
• The "cheated" spouse - That which is happening behind his/her back reflects - to the vehement denial of the cheated spouse - something about his own inner dynamics: The "victim" withdraws from his marital relationship.
• At the moment in time when the "cheater" focuses on an external relationship, the "victim" has already become unavailable in the marriage.
  
• The "victim" is often the first to leave the relationship.
  

What is Spiritual Health?

Paul Pruyser argues that a healthy spiritual life consist of seven components. All seven dimensions combined provide us with a snapshot of a leader’s spiritual life.

1. Calling. Calling has to do with the sense of purpose. Calling, also known as vocation, has to do with the sense of purpose. In a spiritual context, vocation is not just a person’s career choice or occupation. There is a sense of calling that prompts leaders to make sure that all of their work aligns with their values, no matter how lowly the task may seem. A sense of vocation helps effective leaders put their talents to work as participants in the process that moves the universe toward increasing integrity.
   
   
2. Communion. Communion is has to do with one’s sense of belonging to a greater community. If there is any one bottom line found in all leaders, it is in changing lives. By being involved in social projects and building relationships with one’s neighbors, leaders begin to understand the real needs facing their communities. By virtue of their skills and connections, leaders can partner with civic and social groups to bring about change in their community.
   
   
3. Awareness of the Holy. The definition of holy is something that is “completely other.” What, if anything, is sacred to you? Can you love something / someone outside of yourself? Is there anything you consider as untouchable or unfathomable? Do you perceive yourself as a dependent creature, or are you preoccupied with yourself? If pushed by calamity, for what would you be willing to make any sacrifice? Ultimately the question is, “Is there anything or anyone whom you revere more than yourself?”
   
   
4. Providence. Do you believe that your life fits within a greater scheme of life? A sense of providence may be expressed by your desire for God's guidance. Providence is critically related to the ability to trust (and hope). Without trust, there is no sense of supernatural guidance. Instead, everything in life is happenstance, without rhyme or reason. In times of crisis, do you as a leader possess a calmness in knowing that your life and work fits in a larger scheme of things?
   
   
5. Faith. Faith relates to the leader’s stance in life. Do you embrace the ideals and general pattern of reality? Or do you tend to be a cautious pessimist, full of ifs, buts, and howevers? The question is not only to what a leader commits himself or herself, but whether the leader can commit at all. Faith impacts a leader’s perspective by opening the horizons to new opportunities. In other words, the leader's faith determines his/her view of the future, which in turn is an important factor in planning and vision casting.
   
   
6. Grace or gratefulness. Effective leaders have a sense of grace that finds expression in their kindness and generosity. Graceful leaders appreciate the beauty of giving and receiving, and “getting something for nothing.” People who acknowledge that their talents and abilities, including their physical health, are truly a gift of life – not something to be taken for granted – express their gratefulness by being good stewards of their endowments. They develop and build upon their “giftedness.”
   
   Related to the concept of grace and gratefulness is forgiveness. Effective leaders know when and how to forgive people who have disappointed them. Sometimes leaders focus on their own faults and consider themselves unworthy of forgiveness. As a result, they may work under a full load of guilt feelings. Subsequently, these leaders try to compensate by over performing in hopes of negating their past “sins.” Other leaders who insist on their own self-rejection may wallow in self-pity – almost to the point of narcissism.
   
   The result of this form of narcissism is the lack of feeling any need for grace or having any gratefulness whatsoever. “Who me? I don’t need anyone’s forgiveness.” Or “Well, yes, I have had much success, but I worked hard for every bit of it.” Not surprisingly, these people find it difficult to forgive others. Arrogance then drives the leader into a purely transactional understanding of relationships. Everything is a matter of rights or exchanging wares.
   
   
7. Repentance. Repentence refers to a process of changing one’s behavior. It is more than just feeling sorry and having feelings of regret. Rather, it is what Robert Quinn refers to as "deep change" – a turning away from an ineffective attitude, a shift of mind. Effective leaders know how to turn away from actions and attitudes that treat others unfairly and cause them harm. As a result, we change our ways and commit to a new actions and attitudes that builds and develops others, and ultimately our organizations/ministries. There is a direct relationship between repentance and the ability to learn something new.
   

Divorce and Remarriage

I don't know why it always, but it happens. We have a team of five preachers at our church. But somehow I (along with the pastor) get the more "sensitive" topics. My next sermon will be no different: Divorce. I can't say that I speak from personal experience. But unfortunately it is a major problem in Germany, just as it is in America.

In my research, I came across a book (and subsequently an article based on the book) by David Instone-Brewer. His article, which appeared in Christianity Today's website, has caused quite a stir in some evangelical circles. Indeed, if Instone-Brewer's conclusions are correct, it should cause many of our churches to reconsider their stance on divorce / remarriage -- particularly for those who later desire ministerial credentials.

Below is a snippet of Instone-Brewer's article.

One of my most dramatic findings concerns a question the Pharisees asked Jesus: "Is it lawful to divorce a wife for any cause?" (Matt. 19:3). This question reminded me that a few decades before Jesus, some rabbis (the Hillelites) had invented a new form of divorce called the "any cause" divorce. By the time of Jesus, this "any cause" divorce had become so popular that almost no one relied on the literal Old Testament grounds for divorce.

The "any cause" divorce was invented from a single word in Deuteronomy 24:1. Moses allowed divorce for "a cause of immorality," or, more literally, "a thing of nakedness." Most Jews recognized that this unusual phrase was talking about adultery. But the Hillelite rabbis wondered why Moses had added the word "thing" or "cause" when he only needed to use the word "immorality." They decided this extra word implied another ground for divorce—divorce for "a cause." They argued that anything, including a burnt meal or wrinkles not there when you married your wife, could be a cause! The text, they said, taught that divorce was allowed both for adultery and for "any cause."

Another group of rabbis (the Shammaites) disagreed with this interpretation. They said Moses' words were a single phrase that referred to no type of divorce "except immorality"—and therefore the new "any cause" divorces were invalid. These opposing views were well known to all first-century Jews. And the Pharisees wanted to know where Jesus stood. "Is it lawful to divorce your wife for any cause?" they asked. In other words: "Is it lawful for us to use the 'any cause' divorce?"

When Jesus answered with a resounding no, he wasn't condemning "divorce for any cause," but rather the newly invented "any cause" divorce. Jesus agreed firmly with the second group that the phrase didn't mean divorce was allowable for "immorality" and for "any cause," but that Deutermonomy 24:1 referred to no type of divorce "except immorality."

This was a shocking statement for the crowd and for the disciples. It meant they couldn't get a divorce whenever they wanted it—there had to be a lawful cause. It also meant that virtually every divorced man or women was not really divorced, because most of them had "any cause" divorces. Luke and Matthew summarized the whole debate in one sentence: Any divorced person who remarried was committing adultery (Matt. 5:32; Luke 16:18), because they were still married. The fact that they said "any divorced person" instead of "virtually all divorced people" is typical Jewish hyperbole—like Mark saying that "everyone" in Jerusalem came to be baptized by John (Mark 1:5). It may not be obvious to us, but their first readers understood clearly what they meant.

Within a few decades, however, no one understood these terms any more. Language often changes quickly (as I found out when my children first heard the Flintstones sing about "a gay old time"). The early church, and even Jewish rabbis, forgot what the "any cause" divorce was, because soon after the days of Jesus, it became the only type of divorce on offer. It was simply called divorce. This meant that when Jesus condemned "divorce for 'any cause,' " later generations thought he meant "divorce for any cause."

Three Signs of a Miserable Job

I finished reading Patrick Lencioni's latest, Three Signs of a miserable job. As the title suggests, Lencioni presents a model for developing worker satisfaction, which in turn leads to lower worker turnover and improved organizational performance. Although written for the business environment, Lencioni's principles are just as valid in church ministry. What follows below is a summary of Lencioni's model (pp. 221-222). He also gives a visual summary that can been seen here (and scroll down to the video).

Anonymity
People cannot be fulfilled in their work if they are not known. All humans need to be understood and appreciated for their unique qualities by someone in a position of authority. People who see themselves as invisible, generic or anonymous cannot love their jobs, no matter what they are doing.

Irrelevance
Everyone needs to know that their job matters to someone. Anyone. Without seeing a connection between the work and the satisfaction of another person or group of people, an employee simply will not find lasting fulfillment. Even the most cynical employees need to know that their work matters to someone, even if it's just the boss.

Immeasurement
Employees need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves. They cannot be fulled in their work if their success depends on the opinions or whims of another person, no matter how benevolent that person may be. Without tangibe means of assessing success or failure, motivation eventually deteriorates as people see themselves as unable to control their own fate.

Do I have a miserable job? No.... Mine's fine. But what about those who serve under my leadership? Well, it's time to do some reflecting.

Temptations for Leaders

Seven Personal Fronts of Attack (notes from Carson Pue's, Mentoring Leaders)

1. The inclination to pride
1. Leaders can hide the inclination toward pride quite well. The most obvious manifestation appears among those who hold themselves in too high esteem. Others often know what they are doing, but their presumption is so powerful that it is seldom challenged -- no one is close enough to do so.
2. Another sign of pride is when leaders talk about the things of the spiritual life rather than actually training and mentoring others in how to put into practice these lessons themselves. The shadow side of this leaning is to condemn those who challenge or question their approach to spirituality.
3. Leaders who have slipped to the inclination of pride cannot stand rivalry. Once pride has entered into their lives and leadership, if a rival or challenger appears, they will find ways to condemn and belittle that person until the threat is reduced or removed.
4. A distracting strategy is to have prideful leaders season their talk and lifestyle with expressions of their own contributions. They tell the same stories repeatedly about their good works and their success. when you listen to them, you are not sure if they are trying to convince themselves and seeking your approval to boost their sense of security, or if they are so full of themselves that this is all that can flow from their mouths.
5. From pride springs envy, which betrays itself by the amount of displeasure they take in learning of the spiritual good others are doing -- especially in ministry areas closely related to the ones they are called to.
   
2. Sensuality
1. The demands of ministry may offer fertile ground for compensatory "feel good" behaviors that meet emotional needs. These may include misusing food for comfort, altering mood by alcohol or other drugs, sexual escapism in pornography, or seeking satisfaction through inappropriate relationships.
2. An "emotional buzz" from a relationship may be experienced positively, but is nonetheless seductive by meeting non-conscious emotional needs without being considered "sexual" in the same way that overt sexual contact is judged negatively. This is often the start of a slide down the slippery slope toward serious relational and ministry betrayals.
   
3. Leaders disguise this sensual lust by cloaking it in spiritual overtones and words.
4. One outward appearance is a leader seeking either sentimental or sensual friendship with another person (most frequently of the opposite gender) under the pretext of ministry - either ministering together or the leader ministering to the one from whom the relationship is sought. These leaders speak of the relationship as something that is intended to evoke the respect and admiration of others. Often they talk about it as publicly as they can to diffuse their own sense of concern or worry about being caught - or of someone being able to look through them or "read their mail".
   
3. Spiritual excess
1. Spiritual excess is usually exemplified in one of two ways: (1) an excessive craving for consolation, or (2) the constant need to confess something.
   
2. Leaders never confess the sin that is at the core of their problem but rather they confess something that is an attempt to draw themselves close to you without revealing the innermost thoughts of their sinful behavior.
3. Leaders in this state make extra efforts to appear spiritual and do so by sharing something they say they are learning currently.
4. Their souls are more attached to the attention they get from the consolations and the support of others than from God himself.
   
4. Spiritualized lust
1. This is craving after spiritual things because of the feelings attached to it. This spiritualized lust is nurtured while doing "good things" like attending prayer meetings and while ministering with someone at church or in the ministry organization.
2. At times of prayer, sensual feelings can be produced. Prayer is an intimate experience and the feeling of intimacy is akin to the feelings of sexual intimacy.
   
5. Tiredness and sloth
1. Symptoms of these are weariness in performing even the most elementary of the spiritual disciplines. Reading God's Word, prayer, devotional meditation, and even public worship are not relished.
   
6. Surrounding with abundance (of resources and opportunities)
1. This includes an abundance of spiritual books, readings, and research that consume all of the leader's time and energy and leave nothing for personal interior work.
   
2. This is particularly appealing distraction to the more scholarly leaders who have been trained in and are drawn toward academic study rather than introspection of their own soul life.
3. Another abundance - taking on too many duties and responsibilities.
4. Another variation - when talented leaders are surrounded by opportunities and end up quitting one thing for another, changing, exchanging, arranging, and rearranging until finally settling on something that is usually expensive financially and in terms of human resource costs -- and often not as effective in the long run.
5. Technology - time on computers, Internet, etc
   
7. Lukewarmness - Anemia - The Symptoms
1. Gradual weakening of your ministry energy and spiritual desire
2. A blinding of your conscience - judgment becomes warped.
3. Gradual weakening of the will - making concessions that were once unheard of.
4. No desire to work hard at repairing - dodging and avoiding restorations attempts
5. Letting yourself slide in every respect - often this appears with changes in physical appearance

Spiritual Danger Zones in Leadership

• reliance on own gifts
• fear of humankind (people pleasing)
• perfectionism
• lack of conflict resolution skills or avoidance of conflict
• lack of accountability
• ignoring evil or lack of understanding how evil works
• unawareness of how to guard against sexual misconduct
• empire building
• need for recognition
• need to control
• lack of trust / intimacy with God (solitude, etc.)
• inability to set boundaries (to say no)
• inability to delegate
• lack of discernment
  

Mentoring Leaders

I just finished Carson Pue's Mentoring leaders: Wisdom for developing character, calling and competency. Pue presides over Arrow Leadership Ministries, an international ministry founded by Leighton Ford based in Canada.

Pue's emphasis has been on mentoring individual leaders through their consulting ministry. But his insights can be helpful for any local church, or for that matter, any seminary whose sole purpose is to train church leaders.

Here are some of my notes from the book.

Five Phases of the Mentoring Matrix

1. Self-awareness - deep-seated understanding of who we are as children of God though Jesus Christ
2. Freeing Up - disentangling ourselves from those things that hold us back and having our needs fully met by Jesus
3. Visioneering - discovering God's purpose for our lives
4. Implementing - beginning purposeful in how we live and lead
5. Sustaining - learning how to realize our purpose and maintain zeal for ministry

Starting with Self-Awareness
"The most significant thing in navigation - the very most important piece of information - is knowing exactly where you are."

Daniel Goleman places a great deal of emphasis on the importance of being able to recognize feelings and sees this as central to his measurement of what he calls emotional intelligence. "Self-awareness - recognizing a feeling as it happens - is the keystone of emotional intelligence ... the ability to monitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial to psychological insight and self-understanding. An inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy. People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives, having a surer sense of how they really feel about personal decisions from whom they marry to what job they to take."

What keeps leaders from Self-Awareness?

• Lack of feedback. It seems that the higher one rises up the ladder of leadership, the less feedback one receives. The battles of being a leader cause us to become isolated.
• Seminaries have not historically been strong in the feedback area themselves. They are caught between their deep desire to provide foundational content and doing anything that might cause a student to withdraw from school.
• Insecurity. Insecurity breeds misleadership. It erodes confidence within leaders and makes it very difficult for them to leader others. It can also surface during times of great success, not just in negative times.
  
• Busyness. Most leaders function at high rpm. Problem: We can actually get addicted to the adrenaline rush of our leadership. When this happens, we do whatever we can, unconsciously, to feed our need for adrenaline. It actually feels good! Problem: no time for reflection.

How at peace are you?
Once leaders have a clear understanding of their place as a child of God, there is a new peace or shalom that embodies their life and their leadership. Anxiety and drivenness decrease as we mature in our spiritual walk, while at the same time, there is an increase of that inner sense of peace. When leaders lead out of peace rather than frenetic activity, fewer people are hurt and the work of the Lord is multiplied in ways unimaginable.

Just Walk Across the Room

My latest book on my reading list is Bill Hybels' Just Walk Across the Room. I've read several of Hybels' books such as Descending into Greatness, and Courageous Leadership. But I would rank this book as perhaps his best motivational book - motivation for each Christ-follower to share the story of Christ with his/her non-believing friends.

I wouldn't categorize this book as a textbook on how to "do" personal evangelism. Hybels and Mark Mittelberg already wrote a book on that topic - Courageous Christianity. But Just a Walk gives a better insight into Hybels' way of thinking through the process of sharing his testimony with none believers. Along the way, there are a couple of exercises plus the reflection questions at the end of each chapter that easily helps the individual reader as well as small groups who use this material as a study.

The 23rd Psalm Explained

• The Lord is my Shepherd ... (that's relationship)
• I shall not want ... (that's supply)
• He causes me to lie down in green pastures ... (that's rest)
• He leads me beside the still waters ... (that's refreshment)
• He restores my soul ... (that's healing)
• He leads me in the paths of righteousness ... (that's guidance)
• For His name sake ... (that's purpose)
• Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ... (that's testing)
• I will fear no evil ... (that's protection)
• For You are with me ... (that's faithfulness)
• Your rod and your staff they comfort me ... (that's discipline)
• You prepare a table before me in the presence of mine enemies ... (that's hope)
• You anoint my head with oil ... (that's consecration)
• My cup is running over ... (that's abundance)
• Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ... (that's blessing)
• And I will dwell in the house of the Lord ... (that's security)
• Forever ... (that's eternity)

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The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not cover you.

Lifecycle of a Church

I was asked to speak to our German pastors about the lifecycle of a local congregation. Since the original lifecycle theory by Larry Greiner in 1974, there have been number additions and adaptations for both secular business and non-profit organizations (e.g., churches). But the basic premise is the same. All organizations, just like humans, will go through different phases of development. In order to grow, a person will go through a crisis as he/she enters into the next phase of life (cf. Erik Erikson).This is also true of any organization. How one resolves the crises will determine further growth. Often, the solutions to past crises become the seeds for the next crisis in an organization.

One of the best adaptations for the church comes from George Bullard. He contends that there are 10 phases of life. (see graphic, click for larger view)

Every church can find itself in a stage in its lifecycle. Every stage has its unique characteristics. Bullard groups the various characteristics into four groups. Each of the four groups of characteristics should be present in a healthy, mature church. The four categories are:

• Vision – The current understanding of God’s strategic direction cast by leadership and owned by members. Includes vision, leadership, mission, purpose, core values.
• Relationships – Processes by which people are converted, assimilated, grow spiritually, utilise gifts, and develop leadership. Includes relationships, experiences, discipleship
• Programs – Provision of ministries, services, activities, and training. Includes events, ministries, services, activities.
• Management – Administration of resources, decision making, formal and informal culture, openness to change. Includes management, accountability, systems, resources.

The chart below identifies where the major emphases are or are not.

August Update - Germany and Indianapolis

Germany and Indianapolis
This first half of July, Tom was able to focus his work in Germany. In addition to speaking at our church in Rudersberg, Tom also participated in the national pastor’s conference in Kniebis. While in Kniebis, Tom was asked to help formulate a series of theses for discussion at the next national assembly. Then our family traveled to Indianapolis for the General Assembly. Would you believe that we had to take the kids out of school early in order to attend the Assembly? German schools let out this year on August 3..

European Education Committee
The General Assembly is always a time of meetings and more meetings. After all, it is one of the few chances to for all of our colleagues from Europe to get together. One of the meetings we held was that of the European Education Committee. This is a unique committee in that it has representatives from all of (from both western and eastern) Europe. During the meeting, Tom was selected to be the chair of the committee. The previous chairman, John Tipei from Bucharest, resigned in order to focus on his school immediate needs. As chairman of the committee, Tom will coordinate the upcoming education consultation in 2007 and together with the committee devise a master plan of education in Europe.

Vacation and Fundraising in the States
Since the General Assembly, we have been staying with family and friends in Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, and Tennessee. Of course, we’ve used the time to see family and to shop at Walmart (there’s nothing like it in Europe). But we have also visited various churches to renew friendship and establish new partnership. Of particular interest is our upcoming visit to Elryia, OH – the town in which Tom was born. But more about our trip in the next thank you letter.

Prague and Belarus

The first big event in July was the was a seminar held in Prague for pastors from Hungary, Poland, and the Czech Republic. Although Tom was a featured guest speaker, the main speaker for the weekend was Dr. Lamar Vest. The topic of the seminar was “Ministering out of our brokenness.” Although Tom’s role in the meeting was minor, it was the opportunity for him to be introduced to the overseers from both Hungary and Poland and to discuss with them the educational needs of their countries. We have already begun to develop a strategy for ministerial training in this region.

Later in July, Tom traveled to Minsk where the Belarusian Church of God has just begun its first MIP program. This was a follow-up meeting from Tom’s initial visit in April. If all goes as planned, the cohort will finish its first unit of study — Old Testament Survey — by Christmas.